Friday, July 28, 2023

We are, collectively, the Scully.

Keep it coming. Don't worry, I'll say when.
Just, I mean, let's be clear here: I definitely think there are aliens. The universe is simply too big and too complex for it to just be us. And if it were just us, I mean, yikes. That said, I'm skeptical--as many people are--of aliens visiting us. I'm not a scientist, an astronomer, a biologist, or a xenobiologist, which is evidently a real job despite there not being any proof of aliens, so take everything I say with the appropriate amount of salt one should always take some rando's blog. Which is to say, lots.

So like, five or ten years from now.
But I guess it seems like it would take a stupefying number of coincidences for us to meet aliens. For one thing, the universe is fourteen billion years old and we've only been around for a couple million years and most of that was spent picking lice out of our hair. The Star Treking phase of some alien civilization would have to line up pretty magically with our planet's age of crocs and Taylor Swift. For all we know, we could have missed the aliens by a hundred thousand years. Or maybe they're all squirrels and won't develop space travel until we're all extinct. 

But what if aliens did visit us, as claimed by the three whistleblowers who testified before congress earlier this week about alien spacecraft recovered by the U.S. government? If they're so advanced, why do they keep crashing? And do they only crash in America? How come other countries aren't more forthcoming about alien contact. And what's to stop them from recovering alien technology and defending the Earth against invasion?
"Aujourd'hui is the day we zelbrate our Bastille Day!"
-Le Président in Jour do l'indépendence
All I'm saying is if you think it's aliens
say aliens. Quite being all coy about it.
According to David Gruch, one of the ex-military people testifying, "biologics came with some of these some of these recoveries." Biologics he characterized as non-human. And I mean, a six-piece box of chicken McNuggets technically contain non-human biologics, but I think he's saying it's aliens. Aliens! And that's exciting, until you remember that he didn't see the aliens personally, he just talked to people who said they did. When asked if there's any evidence, he said there was, but that he'd only discuss it in private.

"Oh! You want to see them? Uh...no."
-Gruch, earlier this week
Ok, so on the one hand you have these three former members of the U.S. military talking about their encounters with UAP's in the air, secret programs to reverse engineer recovered spacecraft, and actual alien corpses. Cool. But on the other hand, they don't have anything to show us to back up what they're saying. You want to take these guys and everyone else who's testified or spoken publicly about this kind of thing at their word, but extraordinary claims require, you know, dead aliens. So why even bother with the hearings? 

"Do you swear to tell some truth, make a few
suggestive intimations, and whisper the rest into a
pillow, alone, in a locked room, so help you God?"
-Congress
I have no trouble believing that the government has been lying about aliens for years. I do have trouble believing that in all this time no one has ever been able to provide anything other than their word and assurance that aliens are definitely real, but they just can't talk about it. I mean, if you're going to whistleblow, then whistleblow. Sneak out a selfie of yourself in the cockpit of the Tic-Tac. Or a piece of a warp drive. Anything. It just seems like kind of a waste to go before congress to not break the biggest news story of in the history of everything. 

Every time they do one of these hearings, it's like being in The X-Files, but we're all Scully, showing up just after the aliens fly away and all we have to go on is the word of a guy in a suit who never brings a camera rolling his eyes at our completely reasonable skepticism. 
"What? Don't look at me like that. I'm not the one who just missed witnessing firsthand 
an alien arguing with a wizard over splitting the bill at a tapas restaurant. Again."
-Mulder, like, every other week 

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