Again, that's trillion with a T.

Yeah, move over CHOAM.

Yeah, sorry, talking about video games again, but crying poverty when you're like the fourth most valuable company on Earth and consequently, the known universe is pretty weak, right? I mention this because this week Microsoft, you know, the hardware/software maker behind Windows, operating system you probably use at work even though it's kind of garbage, was bemoaning its third place status in the home video game market to to the Federal Trade Commission.

Pictured: Microsoft, seen here asking
the FTC for some more gruel.

But why would they do such a thing, and how could anyone possibly feel anything approaching pity for a company worth two point four trillion--that's trillion with a "T"--dollars of money? The why is that it's a strategy to convince regulators that the world needs another massive merger. Microsoft is trying to buy Activision Blizzard, a games developer (Warcraft, Diablo, that Overwatch nonsense all the kids were into a couple years ago), for sixty-seven billion dollars, and sure, billion with a "B", but still, a preposterous amount of money. As for the who's buying it--buying their story that is--I don't know.

Given that both Microsoft and Sony have been consuming developers for years now like giant Katamari Demacy balls of everything wrong with capitalism, I suspect the FTC will eventually give in. 

It's a game where the object is to accumulate so much stuff that the gravity
of it becomes so intense that it coalesces into a star. Why? I don't know, 
but it kind of feels like an analogy for consumerism.

Isn't this how all competitions in the
history of competition works?

What's interesting here is the suggestion on the part of Microsoft that their Xbox is some struggling niche console in desperate need of Activision Blizzard just to stay competitive:

"Xbox has lost the console wars, and its rivals are positioned to continue to dominate...Xbox has consistently ranked third in consoles behind PlayStation and Nintendo."

-Microsoft dunking on themselves

It should have been all over for them during
the "Red Ring of Death" period, and yet they
lived to fight, and complain, another day.

Which, I mean, I'm sorry, I'm no economist but a couple of things here. First, the fact that the industry has consistently supported three of more platforms for more than twenty years is something. The phrase "console wars" was first thrown around in the 90's when Sega and Nintendo were the only real contenders. Since the first Xbox's introduction in 2001, there've been three and Microsoft's been able to hang in there for decades, even being in first place at least once during the 360 era, and that despite the console itself famously overheating on the regular.

This may be lingering bitterness from
The Console Wars, but Sonic is and always
was, shallow and overrated. There, I said it.

And another thing, in what world is letting already giant companies get even gianter good for consumers? Like, again, not an economist here, but they're making the case that they need Activision Blizzard if they're ever going to beat their rivals, but is the FTC's job to help Microsoft sell Xbox's or is it to ensure a fair and competitive marketplace? Back during the Console Wars of the 90's, I was definitely a Nintendo kid, and I'm sure nostalgia and familiarity are why I still am, but I like Xbox too and have always preferred it to Playstation as a platform. But isn't this how capitalism is supposed to work?

I'm not saying that capitalism is great, and until someone invents replicators, I don't have a better idea. But for a company who's inconceivable wealth and profit is built on exploiting this system, it just feels a little gross that they're now pointing to their bronze medal status--a place they've held since Brittney Spears was big--as a reason the FTC should let their Katamari get even more out of hand.

Someone's working on that right? It'd solve a lot of problems...