Today in relentless fan service:

Huh? What's that? Why yes, I did see the new episode of Star Trek: Picard. What's that? My opinion of it? Why certainly, I'd be happy to. What? In my defense, it's not like anyone needs to ask me. Should I encounter you in person, there's a decent chance that I'm just going to launch into my thoughts about it.

The internet is something like forty percent fans opining
on media franchises they like. I'm just doing my part.

I read more Star Trek novels in my misspent
youth than I'm prepared to admit to you now.

Anyway, Picard season three. I thought the first episode was great, but I'm not saying you should go watch it. Nor am I saying you shouldn't. You seen, I'm just not sure I'm the one to ask. Or even the one to pretend to ask as a set up for a blog post. Star Trek: The Next Generation and the extended universe of spin-offs and movies and even comics and novels, were a big part of my childhood and teens. I may have even, to my great shame, built models. Models. So I'm not sure I can evaluate it objectively. And this defiantly works in Star Trek: Picard's favor, because I have mixed feelings about the series.

Share them? Well, ok, but only because you insist. Look, it's not a great show. In fact, it's probably been the weakest Star Trek series out of all of them. And yes, I am familiar with Star Trek: Enterprise.

Yeah, you heard me. Trust me, I'm as surprised as you are.

All I'm saying is that Star Trek Discovery
did "extra-dimensional doomsday sentient
machines" like two months earlier than Picard.

They both played out like miniseries, each season telling a single over-arching story rather than being stand alone episodes, which is a completely contrary style to the series it was based on, and neither told a very interesting one, if we're being honest. Season one--and spoiler alert, I guess--ended up being a "stop the rise of the evil robots" story. While season two was time travel shenanigans. And yet, I watched and enjoyed them both. How could I not? They're tailor made for exactly people like me. People who built the goddamn model kits.

Before you ask, no, Crusher's sex
candle was vaporized years ago.

People who, as I did last night, scrutinized the dialogue and even the backgrounds picking up on every detail placed there by the writers and the production team for nerds like me. The orchids we see in the beginning of the episode? Oh, Doctor Crusher grew orchids in the episode Cause and Effect. Geordi LaForge's daughter Sydney? She was mentioned in the series finalé All Good Things... Space dock? Dang, straight out of Star Trek III.  Does any of this make for good television? No. Am I there for it? You betcha. And they--the writers--know this. They know the buttons to push. 

And I know that they know. And yet I don't care. Well ok, I do care. I mean, I feel like I'm being manipulated, but that will in no way stop me from watching the next nine episodes. Which, and don't get me wrong, could actually be great. I think this season's first episode was actually good. Like, really good. It's just that I don't trust my own objectivity. 

What was it about? I uh...I don't know, but Doctor Crusher's
jacket is totally a call back to The Wrath of Khan, so...there's that.