I'm not proud of it, but they had me at Moriarty.

I'm not sure what bothers me more: the lazy nostalgia grab of deep cut references or the fact that I am 100% there for it. What am I talking about? Why this of course:

Pictured: Jean-Luc Picard about to tuck in to his breaded cod and chips
only to be interrupted by the call to adventure in the Picard Season 3 trailer.
Not pictured: the part where he looks around wearily and mutters "I'm too
 old for this merde." Before answering the aforementioned call to adventure.

The internet: 20% fans weighing in 
on trailers they watched on Youtube, 25%
 unfocused rage. The rest is just ads.

Surely you didn't think I was not going to have opinions about the Picard season 3 trailer, because I do and as per usual, please take this opportunity to ask yourself, I mean, really ask yourself if you're prepared to fall down this nerd-hole with me. If you're not, or are but would rather not discuss spoilers, I suggest you bail out now. Still with me? Cool. Did you watch it? No? Well going on, think of it as required reading. I'll wait. Back? Super. Now I think you'll join me in saying: "what the actual?"

Pfft...something new. Screw that.
Give me more crossovers.

Recently Star Trek, like as a thing, has been kind of about eating itself. The newer entries in the--and I hate this word--franchise, have relied very heavily on references to earlier incarnations. Which, I mean, sure, that's what being a--ugghh--franchise is all about. It has to build on previous installments. Everyone loves franchises. Why would anyone want to watch something new or original when they can consume additional entries in a single, interconnected narrative universe? But the degree to which Star Trek shows do this fluctuates pretty wildly. 

There's also The Orville which is basically
Star Trek with the serial numbers filed off
and more Seth MacFarlane jokes.

Discovery is probably the most out there in terms of departing from the source material while Strange New Worlds feels the most like a twenty-twenties version of the original series. Lower Decks relies fairly heavily on lore and references, but gets away with it because it's played for laughs, while Picard is...well it's for the fans. Which is a nice way of saying both seasons started really strong and then kind of devolved into something only the people who read Memory Alpha could love.

Fine, me, but the Enterprise-F
was in it. I mean, I'm only human...

So me. And this trailer for the new season definitely feels like the writers are inserting some kind of long, hollow, metal tube into my skull, hoping to extract subscription fees directly from my nostalgia gland. From go, the trailer definitely gives me J.J. Abrams Trek movie vibes: quippy dialogue, sinister-looking starships emerging from dark and foreboding space clouds, a mysterious voice talking about vengeance. There're plenty of pew-pews and exploding corridors and blink-and-you'll miss it moments for nerds to scrub and pause through and the--huh? No. Not me. Other nerds...not me.

Twisted, cunning, and in the public domain,
Moriarty is truly a force to be reckoned with.
Unless of course, you turn off the holodeck.

And three villains? Three. There's the aforementioned vengeance stan (the kids still say "stan" right?) played by Amanda Plumber. Lore, because of course Brent Spiner is in it, but not playing Data. And professor goddamn Moriarty--who, I mean...deep cut, right? Even casual Trekkies are probably aware of Lore and even if they're not, "he's Data's evil twin brother" is pretty easy to grasp. But a sentient hologram based on Professor Moriarty? He was created by the holodeck when someone asked for an adversary capable of defeating Data's android intellect, but that's some serious "last time on Star Trek" stuff right there. 

"Hm...needs more social commentary couched
in sci-fi tropes. And maybe some more Ferengi?"

Except the target audience--again, me--doesn't need a "last time on." And I'm not sure that's a good thing for either of us. From a writing perspective, it's kind of lazy. Just take a bunch of episodes of the TV series, shove a stick blender in there and come up with a nostalgia smoothie. And as the nerd in this equation, I'm just drinking another ten hours of that smoothie. Which is, you know, probably full of sugar and--ok, the analogy falls apart here, but I think you get my point. Of course there's the other side of this argument which is, who cares?

Sure, maybe it won't bring anything new to the table and will just rehash stories and ideas we've already seen a dozen times over. Fine. And maybe it will pit the crew against another rando bent on revenge against the Federation for murky, illogical reasons. Whatever. If Micheal Dorn is willing to sit through five hours of latex forehead application to bring back Worf one more time, I'm going to watch it, damnit. 

Wait, again? This is like the fourth time the final voyage has begun.