Morton's The Steakhouse The Schadenfreude

Morton's The Steakhouse's Morton's
Legendary Sundae® which is just a regular 
ol'sundae but costs nineteen dollars.

Am I a petty, small person who delights in the discomfort of others? I hadn't thought so. But then Supreme Court Justice and sexual assault enthusiast--sorry, alleged--Brett Kavanaugh had to leave Morton's The Steakhouse and--yeah, Morton's The Steakhouse. Which, shouldn't it be Morton's Steakhouse? Or The Morton's Steakhouse? Look, I don't want to tell rich people how to rich, but that's a dumb name. Anyway, Justice Kavanaugh had to leave before desert and I checked and they have sundaes. Legendary sundaes. Sundaes that are presumably the very stuff of legend.

But did he at least get to finish his beer?

But why such a rush? You might ask. Because a group called Shutdown DC tipped off it's members to Kavanaugh's dinner plans and people showed up to show their displeasure at the recent Supreme Court decision in which Americans were robbed of their constitutionally protected right to reproductive health. They didn't, you know, do anything and Kavanaugh at no point even saw the protestors, but regardless he felt that his personal safety was in danger and ran out the back. After he finished his steak, but before desert. You know, because of the danger.

Pictured: the place to protest Dobbs v.
Jackson Women's Health Organization.
Ideally at a time when Brett Kavanaugh
is enjoying a steak dinner.

Incredibly and, one presumes un-ironically, Morton's The Steakhouse leapt to Kavanaugh's defense calling the protestors "unruly" and adding:

"Politics, regardless of your side or views, should not trample the freedom at play of the right to congregate and eat dinner. There is a time and place for everything. Disturbing the dinner of our customers was an act of selfishness and void of decency."

-Moton's The Steakhouse 

The Spokesperson

Nobody on the right gets to complain
about our protests ever again. Ever.

First of all, I'm not sure what constitutes unruly. They did call the restaurant and ask them to kick Kavanaugh out, but I mean, the restaurant could have--and did--say no. By all accounts the protest was peaceful. Perhaps far more peaceful than one might expect given that Brett "Settled Law" Kavanaugh was appointed by a President most of us voted against and who lied about his feelings on Roe v. Wade so that he could help overturn it. At worst, they just wanted to shout at him a little and ask for our fundamental rights and protections back. 

Above: Clarence and Ginny Thomas
laughing. You know, for now...

There is a time and place for everything, and this is exactly it. Republicans overturned Roe v. Wade, but did so by exploiting the electoral college and weakness in our system. What they didn't do is persuade a single American that we don't have a right to body autonomy or a right to marry the person we love or anything else on Clarance Thomas's "cherished and hard-won rights I'd like to strip away for funsies" list. It's like they just sort of assumed that if they took the Court we'd all accept a radical right-wing takeover, which, I mean, no. 

They were mistaken. And I'm truly sorry (no, I'm not) that Brett Kavanaugh's dinner plans were interrupted but I'm sure this isn't the last time something like this will happen. Outraged Americans protesting until we return to normalcy is what they've signed up for now. 

Seriously, did Republicans just think we were all just going to be cool with all this?