iMean, c'mon...

Look, I don't want to tell Apple how to exploit their overly loyal fanbase, but I mean, c'mon:

Pictured: basically heroin.

In case your five year old iMac is too
far obsolete for you to wipe the finger prints
off the screen such a high-tech towel.

Yeah, that's a microfiber polishing cloth for your screens and yes, it does indeed cost twenty dollars of money. And if you order now, you'll only have to wait ten to twelve weeks because it's already sold out. So I guess try not to sneeze around your lap top in the meantime? Twenty dollars...anyway, of course this is ridiculous but, whatever, this is just Apple being Apple. If you look at the bottom right of the screen grab above you'll see that they bothered with multiple angle shots of a featureless (well, there's an Apple logo), grey square. There's even a compatibility list. 

Our new displays are made from a high
tech meringue, so try not to get them wet, touch
them, or look at them, as they will dissolve.

Even more...what's the word? I'd say galling if this wasn't exactly the kind of nonsense Apple's been pulling for decades, but let's just go with annoying. Even more annoying is that they claim that you have to use this specific cloth if you bought one of the new devices with a nano texture glass screen. It's a glare reducing option only available on the more expensive models and even then is like a five hundred dollar upgrade. Which, I mean, I'd live with a little glare if it meant not having a screen so delicate I needed a twenty dollar wipe just to clean it. 

And on that subject, could Apple really not just include one of these with their six thousand dollar computers? There's obviously a market for this (tech-obsessed chumps with tons of disposable income), or else it wouldn't exist. And I'd be a damned liar if I said I wasn't writing this on an Apple laptop right now, but is there a point at which enough is enough? Huh? Yeah, I didn't think so...

"Our latest innovation features the fewest ports ever on an Apple product !"

-Apple