Nothing short of Zur and the Ko-Dan Armada...

Look, despite being a functional adult who still plays video games, I-even I, can not envision a national disaster in which video games would be by any stretch considered essential. 

Ok, fine, maybe in some kind of Last Starfighter
scenario, but we're not quite there yet, are we?

Pictured: essential goods.

I bring this up because video game retailer GameStop, in a move seemingly designed to consume whatever pity goodwill gamers may have felt towards them, are staying open despite not only health department orders to close, but also the very real threat of infection both to staff and customers. According to video game website Kotaku, who got a hold of a company memo, GameStop's management feels that the store provides "essential goods and services."

Well, the 10% trade in bonus is higher than the
diseases' morality rate. That's just math.

Or in their own, shockingly callous, interoffice and not-meant for public consumption words:

"Due to the products we carry that enable and enhance our customers' experience in working from home, we believe GameStop is classified as essential retail and therefore is able to remain open during this time..."

-GameStop Corporate, presumably 

with a straight face

First of all, exactly zero people have died from an inability to buy video games and Funko Pops. Zero. Thousands have however died from ignoring the warnings to stay home during the pandemic. Secondly, very few people were going to GameStop before all this started. If they weren't an essential retailer then, what makes them think anything has changed?

Above: like, most GameStops.

Not having to deal with people
is one of the best parts of gaming...

Now, I realize that social isolation and video games have a history going back to the very beginning of the industry, but we live in a world where whether we like it or not, physical media is less essential than it's ever been. Wanna play Witcher III? Cool, depending on your connection, you could have it on your console in what? Twenty minutes? A hour? Maybe longer if you live in the sticks, but the point is there's no reason you need a physical copy of a game anymore, at least no reason worth risking your life over. Your employees' lives however...

"Who am I to judge? Ahh?"

-Some hilarious judge

But that can't be legal, can it? Well, according to Kotaku, if local authorities try and tell employees to "holy shit, go home, what are you people doing?" they are asked to direct said authorities to call GameStop corporate HQ. That intensely hot sensation you're feeling? That's rage-well, I think it's rage, maybe take your temperature? But it's probably just rage. Hey, and ok, I'm not like, a legal expert or anything, but I've got to think that local shelter in place orders supersede the authority invested in goddamn GameStop, right?

I guess what I'm saying is that this is the dickest of dick moves from a bunch of executives whom I can only assume are secure in their executive bunkers, surrounded by unlimited sickdays and the best medical insurance rich people and only rich people can afford while their hourly, be-namedtaged grunts risk illness and possibly death to keep an already doomed retailer going a few more weeks.

Because for real, it's not like Tim and let's say Carol here have
generous health benefits and severance packages to look forward to.