The rose-tinted VISOR of nostalgia!

Well yes, obviously we're going to talk about Star Trek: Picard. You couldn't possibly think I wasn't going to talk about it.

Oh don't look so shocked.

What's the internet for if not discussing
Star Trek. Huh? Well, sure, porn...

Was it any good? Yes. Will you like it? I don't know if I know how to answer that. Will I ever stop pretending that you're asking questions so that I have something to blog about? Probably not. It's an easy way for me to lead in to a subject, and really I'm nothing if not a lazy writer. Anyway, what were we talking about? Right. Star Trek. Probably a safe bet with me. Oh, and don't worry, I'm not really going to spoil anything important, I'm just musing about what I thought of the episode.

Pictured: Bruce Maddox, winner of the
Arnold J. Rimmer award for excellence
 in the field of resting douche face.

So, my musings. I liked the episode firstly because I'm a huge Star Trek fan and TNG was the one I grew up with and all they had to do to win me over was give me more Picard. Hey look, there's Picard on his vineyard from season four. And did they just name drop Dr. Maddox, the scientist who wanted to dismantle Data in season two's The Measure of a Man? They did! And look, Romulans! And Ten Forward! And holy shit is that the Captain Picard Day banner the kids on the Enterprise made in Chain of Command pt. 1! -it's full of Star Trek references is what I'm saying. Just full of'em.

But wait, am I like a totally hypocrite here? There I go again, asking questions just so I can answer them. But yes, yes I am a hypocrite. One of my criticisms of The Rise of Skywalker was how precious it was about Star Wars. The cameos, the call backs the fact that Rey had to take Luke's old X-Wing to re-kill Emperor Palatine using Luke's old lightsaber with a little help from Lando, Chewie and Wedge.

Sorry to trot out the ol' Trek vs. Wars thing...but hey, since
we're here: phaser, set to wide-beam-end of discussion.

VISOR? See what I did there? Even
my analogies are full of references. 

Yes, Picard is wall to wall fan service. In fact, the titular Picard actually goes to an archive full of props from the old show. Like, he needed to go to the archive to get information he needed to drive the story forward, it wasn't to insert a bunch of references...ok, it wasn't just to insert-look, I might just be wearing the rose-tinted VISOR of nostalgia when it comes to this kind of thing but it felt earned instead of indulgent. The show wasn't about rehashing old storylines, it just happened to contain incidental rehash.

What did you think I meant?

I loved the hash. I'm here for the hash. And I-just to be clear, when I say hash, I'm referring to references to earlier entires in Trek canon and not, you know, some other meaning of hash. But what I'm saying is that I don't think there's anything wrong with building on top of existing story elements. It's a sequel, and by definition based on some kind of source material. I think the problem comes when it becomes all about that source material and I think that's something Picard-at least in episode one-is doing right. But enough about hash and nerd references.

Shaka, when the falls fell: verb.

1. to fail utterly

2. a colossal fuckup

Let's go back to the original question you didn't really ask in the first place, but I pretended you did. Lazy writing, remember? So, will you like Star Trek: Picard? I think so. They would have had to seriously Shaka'd when the walls fell for me not have enjoyed this, and in fact, I think I can't really be objective here. But my sense is that even a casual fan would dig it. You don't need to be familiar with fifty years of Star Trek lore to enjoy it although it helps to have at least a passing familiarity with it.

Don't get me wrong, I like Disco. A lot,
but for real: hold the goddamn camera still.

The cast-at least those introduced so far, are great. The writing still feels Star Trek-y but a bit more natural than it did back on TNG or DS9, and it's light on technobabble. That's probably a good thing, especially for newcomers. Oh, and the pacing is less frenetic than say, Discovery where it sometimes feels like you can't take a breath. That might be down more to personal preference than anything else, but as an old, I appreciate it.

Anyway, it's true I don't like to review things on my blog, and I'm not. Like, I'm not telling you to go watch Picard. I just don't want that kind of responsibility. Think of it as a Prime Directive thing. I'm just telling you what I thought of the first episode, what you do with that information is your own business.

"It's like I always say: fuck the Prime Directive."

-Jean-Luc Picard, off-roading 

on a pre-warp planet