Today in Brazilian patent filings:

So if you're anything like me-that is, a grown-ass adult who still plays video games-news about the next generation of consoles is the kind of thing that makes you rush to your dumb blog to talk about it especially when that news comes in the form of cartridges being a thing again. But you're probably not like me so I invite you to either bail out now or buckle up for some thick nerdery.

To gauge your potential nerd-tolerance,
it involves software storage media patents.
Yeah, I thought so. See you next time!

If I were to guess though, maybe it's
because you're out living an active
social life? And probably drinking so...

Ok, so yesterday the kind of people who pour over Brazilian patent registrations noticed-yeah, evidently someone does that. And they're Dutch. Anyway, someone from LetsGoDigital, a Dutch technology website, noticed a patent filed by Sony for a Playstation Cartridge which, if you follow the video games industry is kind of weird. And if you don't follow the video games industry, trust me, it's kind of weird, and I'll explain why. Why it's weird, not why you don't follow video game news. I can't help you there.

Even casual video game players probably remember blowing on an NES cartridge which, incidentally, did nothing but spray the copper contacts with corrosive saliva and, if we're being honest, Dorito particles.

We, as a generation, grossly overestimated the cleaning power of our own spit.

No, they're not and anyone who says
they are is a hipster trying to come
up with something to write about.

Cartridges were, from the first home consoles up until the first Playstation, the medium of choice for the industry. Then it was CD's, the DVD's and finally Blu-rays but this patent begs the question are we going back to cartridges? The answer of course is no, of course not. That's like saying records are making a comeback-huh? Oh. Sorry, bad example. It's like saying cassettes will make a comeback. Sure, the Nintendo Switch use little SD cards instead of optical media, but most people think the future is digital downloads or streaming.

Maybe the service was too expensive, or no
one uses it because American internet sucks. Hm?
Oh, that's a pic of Google Stadia. Why? No reason.

Which itself isn't great. Not to sound all get off my lawn, but the thing about digital and streaming media is that whomever you're buying it from probably still owns it. It's not as big a deal when it comes to something like a movie you pay fifteen bucks for and watch the one time, but a newly released game can cost sixty dollars and if you downloaded or-god forbid-are just streaming it and that service goes away for some reason, you're just out of luck.

So no, whatever this weird patent a Japanese company filed in Brazil which was then dug up by a website is, it's almost certainly not what we think. Sony's already announced that the PS5 uses some kind of fancy Blu-ray for games. But my vote is yes, let's bring back cartridges. Not just because physical media is more secure and has shorter load times, but because we gamers need our obsolete technology thing to fire back about whenever someone comes up to us at a party yammering on about how great vinyl records are.

"I really just prefer the feel of actual game cartridges.
They're just so much more, real, you know?"

-Some gamer as everyone

else's eyes glaze over