It's like they don't know me at all...

Look, I think corporations are, at their very core, morally reprehensible entities who operate above the law and should be ground into the dirt when the revolution comes. I don't want them advertising at me and I certainly don't want to help them find new and interesting ways to market crap I neither need nor want. That said, for real?

"To the continued enrichment of our shareholders
at the expense of all other concerns!"

-Corporate people, toasting-what? Hey,

your beef is with Milton Friedman, not me

"What is a meme?"

For real what? I'm getting there. So in my Facebook feed this morning I-huh? Yeah, I know, I'm still on Facebook. They're the company probably more responsible than anyone else for installing a deranged game show host into our highest office, but I still use their dumb social media platform. Like a chump. I also buy stuff off Amazon sometimes. I may be the worst, but I'm not alone. Far too many of us are, like a bunch of smack addicts, hooked on this dumb internet thing which will almost certainly lead to our civilization's downfall. But on the upside, funny memes?

But what I want to talk about is this add that showed up on Facebook this morning:

I just...people give them actual dollars for this?

"Eh..."

-Me, on the 

subject of dogs

I mean...why? Yeah, it's an add for a company that will take a photo of your dog and print it on some socks. They're called Pupsocks. And my "why" isn't a question of why does this exist? Although, seriously, why does this exist? It's a why does Facebook think I'd want some? I don't now nor shall I ever own a dog. And let me stop you right there. To be clear, I don't hate dogs. I have nothing against dogs. I just don't want to spend the next twelve to fourteen years following one around, picking up its waste and begging my friends to take care of it anytime I want to go out of town.

Above: noted heartless monster Milton
Friedman. Yup, again. But a lot of what's
wrong with everything is this guy's fault.

And if that makes me a heatless monster, then so be it. But for whatever reason, the gross, invasive Facebook hive mind that constantly tracks my every online move decided Pupsocks are something I'd be interested in and what I want to know is why? Like I said, I have no particular affinity for or interest in dogs and while I do own socks and will in the future purchase socks, I don't believe I've ever bought any online much less expressed an interest in buying socks with photos of the dog I don't own on them, so what gives?

How can an algorithm that so routinely influences people to buy garbage they don't need and to vote for racist shitheels be so off base when it comes to my sock preferences? Again, I don't want to be followed and analyzed like some kind of radio-tagged bear with PayPal, but I can't help but feel a little hurt that goddamn Facebook doesn't know how I feel about dogs.

Well Zuck, what have you got to say for yourself?