From the inventor of train in a tube:

So I have mixed feelings about Elon Musk cyborging people and I-huh? Oh, yes, Elon Musk, the ultra-rich crazy person who, like a pot smoking space Moses once wanted to lead humanity to Mars, has now turned his attention to jacking us into the collective via surgically implanted computer interfaces.

Pictured: that time Elon Musk shot a Tesla to Mars proving that just because
someone has money, doesn't mean they should be trusted with money.

Truly this is an age of miracles. 

Ok, let me walk that back a bit. So Elon Musk started up a start-up company, presumably with whatever spare cash he found under his sofa cushions, called Neuralink, and it's been working on brain machine interfaces. That is, technology that can link brains-just rats and monkeys so far, with computers. If that sounds like sci-fi nonsense, it's because it is. But then so were antibiotics, the moon landing and the technology to make old Robert Downey Jr. look like young Robert Downey Jr. so in some ways Elon Musk is a visionary.

But in other ways, he's a monster. I mean, he is essentially sticking USB ports into monkeys just to see what happens and in addition to the ethical concerns I'm just not sure monkey borg aren't just the worst idea in the history of bad ideas.

Is this what you want Elon? Is it?

Yeah, we're like on to you.

Ok, I guess in the interest of fairness, I should mention that if it proves viable, the BMI (their acronym, not mine) could have life-changing applications for people with diseases or injuries that damage their motor functions. And I think that's super, but you have to admit: Elon Musk wants to put computer chips in your brain is an unsettling prospect at first blush. I mean Neuralink is a business and Elon Musk is a business person. So this is about making money first and foremost.

Pictured: the President tweeting
something dumb, racist or both.

And I'm not sure I'm comfortable with the commercial aspect of all this. Again, no beef with people being able to walk again, but how long before Neuralink is selling this technology? Alexa could soon be literally in our heads and suddenly our every stray thought will be buying us Fire Sticks and Instant Pots whether we want them or not. And Twitter will basically be telepathy and do we really want everyone's constant, unfiltered running commentary clogging up our-oh, right...

Seriously though, If human history has taught us anything it's that we have a knack for turning every great technological advancements into either something that kills people or sells them shit. And this will be no different. But I guess that's all a ways off, I mean, remember the hyperloop? Where are we on that?

Like, for real, it's just a train in a tube. What's the hold up?