Gee, do you think he's hiding something?

I know people throw the word 'hero' around a lot these days, but I can think of no one more worthy of the epithet than the President. How come? Because he's taking a stand. A stand against the House Ways and Means Committee Chair, Richard Neal, who has formally requested his tax returns.

"The line must be drawn he-yah!"

-Basically Trump

Fun fact: it's also synonymous
with particularly  loud flatulence.

(source: early modern English)

Why is he fighting a request for something every other President since Nixon has voluntarily released to the public? Because he's a man of principle. Because he's a man of conviction. Because he's committed numerous crimes and doesn't want us to know about them. But mainly the other two things. Crimes? Who said anything about crimes? Trump is a name synonymous with integrity. Just ask the many people who have gone to jail for being connected with him.

You see he's not doing this because even a cursory look into his financial dealings over the last few years would open him to prosecution, he's doing this for future presidents who may someday want to hide their financial malfeasance.

What about all the kids who may someday grow up to inherit millions of
dollars, screw contractors out of wages, pay off porn stars to keep quiet and
then run for President on a platform of hate and division? What about them, huh?

What I'm saying is that innocent, above-
boards people don't need phalanxes of lawyers.

So Trump's lawyers are arguing that-holy shit, incidentally, if you were someone who needed lawyers as often and in the numbers that Donald Trump does, you'd reevaluate things, right? Like, that's not normal. Anyway, his lawyers are insisting that this is presidential harassment-which I'm pretty sure was never a thing before he came along, and that House Ways and Means has no right to the tax returns. Meanwhile Neal says yes he does. Who's right? Legally, I mean? I don't know. Who's guilty as sin and we all know it and just can't seem to make anything stick? Yeah...

I know, I know, slippery slope, but why the freak out and lawyers? Like, if he's genuinely concerned about the legality of Neal's request, and not the contents of the returns being made public, why not release the tax returns like every other President has done and in fact, he used to say he would do, and then argue about how legal the request was...unless, wait, you don't suppose he's hiding something, do you?

"Um...yes. Lots of things. Mainly crimes."

-Everyone