The New Adventures of Old Picard

Hey, did you see this stuff about the Picard show? It's a couple of different-huh? Yeah, I know I said we wouldn't just be talking about TV shows, and yes I know I said that as recently as earlier today, but I mean, do you really want me to drone on about how much of a goon the President is? No? Great, then nerd stuff it is.

Yikes, he probably should have hung
around the Ba'Ku planet a while longer.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, there's going to be a new Star Trek show about whatever Picard gets up to after all the captaining. Yeah, Sir Patrick Stewart is slipping on the spandex again to reprise the role that made him famous. Huh? What? No, not Dune. Stay with me. Anyway, now, he's older and possibly not a captain anymore, and no one from TNG is coming back, and according to this, he'll be hanging out with a rag-tag crew of ne're-do-wells. Or should I say nerd-do-wells? No. No I should never say that. I'm better than that.*

Which is weird considering how
few ships he's brought back intact.

If you clicked on the link, you'd have seen a story about the unconfirmed and possibly bullshit character breakdowns supposedly from the production outlining the characters from the new show. The breakdown for one of the characters suggests that she's a sort of space charter pilot and that Picard hires her to take him to some kind of artifact, which jibes with some of the rumors about the show, specifically that Jean-Luc isn't working for Starfleet anymore otherwise you know, they'd probably give him a ship to use.

Here, for no reason, a
shot of the cast of Firefly. 

The other characters include a thief, a former intelligence agent, a holographic doctor-yes, another holographic doctor, an positronic brain specialist and a teenage Romulan martial artist. All of whom have troubled pasts and baggage and while we don't know who they're playing at least two of the actors have been cast: Michelle Hurd from Law and Order SVU and Santiago Cabrera who was on Heroes before it was terrible. So let's see, that's some mercenaries, a spy and a ninja.

Yup, could be ten episodes of
Picard tending his vines in France
and just admit it, you'd watch. 

I don't know, I'm reserving judgement. It doesn't sound very Star Trek-y, but then that's kind of the point. Producer Alex Kurtzman has been super-clear that the show will be something new and that the tone will be like, super grounded you guys. How grounded? No idea. I mean, I'm imagining that since one of the characters owns and operates her own spaceship and another is an alien the story will at some point involve space but who knows? For all we know, the show could be an exhaustively realistic look at Picard's retirement.

What, you can't do character driven plots and
apocalyptic cyborg invasion at the same time?

Speaking of unfounded rumors about things of limited importance in the grand scheme of our lives, there's also a possible title floating around: Star Trek: Destiny. That title also happens to be a series of Trek novels by David Mack set after Star Trek: Nemesis, which is roughly when the Picard show takes place. But despite the title they're probably not connected to the new show. The books center around the Borg invading the Federation and fucking everything up and that doesn't line up too well with Kurtzman's description of a more grounded story.

Anyway, filming starts next month, so I guess that only gives me a few weeks to organize a massive social media campaign designed to land me a roll on the new show. I'm probably (definitely) a little (way) too old to play the Romulan teen ninja, but maybe the holographic doctor or android brain scientist? Either way, Alex Kurtzman doesn't seem to have a public twitter account, so if anyone knows where I can send headshots or an edible bouquet or something drop me a line?

Oh! I found a place that does beef jerky bouquets.
I could have it delivered, but would it be too much
if I showed up at his door with meat flowers?

*No, I'm not.