No, Rick Scott does not get a cookie.

Look, I don't want to tell Republicans how to spiral into white supremacist authoritarianism, but railing against people's votes being counted might not be the way to go.

"We're not saying people shouldn't be able to vote, we're just
saying that we shouldn't have to count votes that aren't for me."

-Florida Governor Rick Scott

"The face...he's right behind me, isn't he?
Man, totalitarian dystopia's...they just
sneak right up on you, don't they?"

You've got to be subtle, planting seeds over years and even decades, undermining the very fabric of democracy behind closed doors. Not Tweeting about how Democrats are trying to steal an election by insisting that all the votes are counted. People should look around one day and suddenly realize that they've been living in an Orwellian nightmare for years, but these amateurs are twirling their mustaches and demanding Republicans be installed without waiting around for the results.

Pictured: Rick Scott who earlier
 today bitterly acquiesced to pressure to
recuse himself. Because he's a quitter. 

And in Florida of all places! Look, I know it's our least competent state and might seem like the easiest place to steal an election, but the Governor, the actual Governor being in charge of the Senate race he's running in? Sure, he reluctantly announced today that he'd be recusing himself from the recount process, and in fact said that of course he was going to recuse himself, he always recuses himself, and that this totally isn't because of the public outcry and accusations of fraud. So what does he want, a cookie?

Same same the Governor's race in Georgia. Like, how does Brian Kemp sleep at night knowing that he's made a career out of robbing people of their right to vote?

"How do I sleep at night? Soundly, thanks to a neurological
condition that leaves me incapable of self-examination and without 
the capacity to feel shame for my actions. Ok, next question?"

-Kemp discussing his recent 
unrepentant dick diagnosis

"For thy many slights against me, I prithee
meet me upon the dueling grounds at
dawn where I shall bust a cap in thy ass."

On the one hand, you almost have to blame a system that allows someone to both run in and oversee an election at the same time, but on the other hand the be-powdered wig Founding Fathers probably assumed some level of decency on the part of people running for office. These were people who would challenge each other to duels to the death over rudeness, they couldn't possibly imagine a world where the President sits around with a cheese burger in one hand, iPhone in the other, tweeting insults at his political enemies.

"Well, yeah...is it working?"

-Mitch McConnell, Senator

and architect of our collapse

I'm willing to accept the possibility-like the mathematical possibility-that voters in Georgia and Florida may have actually elected Kemp and Scott respectively. I mean, people do make objectively terrible choices sometimes. Especially in the South. But unless we can count on these elections being above boards, we can't trust the legitimacy of the winners. Of any of the winners. Anywhere. Down ticket races affect national elections, so they're all suspect now. I guess what I want to know is what's the Republican party's plan here? Hope the rest of us don't catch on?

Look, we're not stupid. Willing to give the GOP the benefit of the doubt despite overwhelming evidence of institutionalized corruption, yes, but not stupid. Five or six more blatant, high profile power grabs like this and we're eventually going to get around to asking them to maybe stop doing that.

"Stop stealing elections? Sure, we'll get right on that..."

-Republicans