Tuesday, November 27, 2018

Biloxi Boo's

So at a campaign rally-yes, a campaign rally for the midterms which are over, but in Missouri they're having a run off. Evidently Missourians are having a hard time deciding between Democrat Mike Espy and noted racist and public hanging supporter Cindy Hyde-Smith for the U.S. Senate.
"I'm sorry, are you saying it's racist to send your kid to a whites-only school and
wish the Confederacy had won the war so we could still own-oh, now I hear it."

-Cindy Hyde-Smith, seeing the error of-
just kidding, she still loves segregation
Pictured: Roy Moore, seen here
inexplicably not going to prison.

Yup, Missouri Republican voters have their heads so far up their own ideologies that they'd rather have a racist than a Democrat. According to Missouri RNC committeeman Henry Barbour: "We don't want to have an Alabama." Which, sure. Nobody wants an Alabama. But Barbour is referring to last year's special election in Alabama in which Republicans ran Roy Moore, a rapist, against Democrat Doug Jones. Jones won by twenty thousand votes and that's super, but should it have been that close?

Where was I? Right, the campaign rally for lynching enthusiast Cindy Hyde-Smith where an appearance by Donald Trump is seen by voters as a plus and not, you know, a skin-crawling and cheeseburger-scented kiss of death. I'm beginning to think that this is a sign that Republicans, like as a thing, are just different from us.
Any rational person would be unnerved by the
thought of Donald Trump lurking behind them.
Above: the opposite of what he just said.
Anyway, Trump had this to say of the asylum-seekers he recently sent armed U.S. troops to the border defend us against:

"You know you hear these stories about, oh, they don't commit crimes, we commit crimes, they don't commit crimes. Always it's us. No, no, it doesn't work that way. It's fake news."


-The President, rolling out 
all the old favorites again 

...yeah, but if you go by the numbers, immigrants do commit less crime. Of course, if you're going by the numbers Hillary Clinton should be President so here we are. Speaking of crime, did you know that Democrats love crime? According to Trump, "Democrats have become the party of caravans and crime." And "Democrats want to turn America into one giant sanctuary city for violent criminals and MS13 gang members." 
"Damn you Donald Trump! Once again you've seen through  our carefully spun web of
deceit. Yes, there's nothing the Democratic party loves more than crime and murderous gangs."
-Nancy Pelosi on Donald Trump's
first-rate detective skills

It 'd like a Rorschach test. Either you see
troops using tear gas on asylum seekers
and are appalled, or you're a Republican.
Wait, party of crime? Some strong words given the number of Trump administration officials who've been indicted, convicted or struck plea deals and the fact that the President is himself under investigation-but ok. Anyway Hyde-Smith, the likely winner of today's runoff, is a public execution fan who misses the antebellum South (which is weird because Missouri wasn't a Confederate state) and her rally yesterday went bananas for the President as he spouted racist nonsense about immigrants and crime, and then blamed the migrants for getting in the way of our tear gas. Holy shit, right? I mean, how are we all from the same country?

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