Today in lowering the bar:

It's a low bar is what I'm saying.

"...one of the great intellects and one of the finest people I have ever known."

-Noted judge of character,

Donald J. Trump

That's the President defending Brett Kavanaugh. It might sound hyperbolic, but bear in mind that a lot of the people he knows have recently been convicted of federal crimes.

But why the sudden and effusive praise of Brett Kavanaugh? Because a college professor named Christine Blasey Ford says Kavanagh sexually assaulted her while they were both in high school and sensing a white male in trouble, Donald 'Grab them by the Pussy' Trump is has leapt to his defense.

Above: Billy Bush and Donald Trump greeting Arianne Zucker seconds
after joking about sexually assaulting her. Wait, how did he get elected? 

Yeah, well, here we are.

I think the number of women that have publicly accused Trump of sexual assault is what? Fifteen? So I guess he thinks he's helping Kavanaugh out here. Like maybe if he and Kavanaugh are in a room together Kavanaugh looks less terrible by comparison? And look, I'm not like an expert of the history of our nation's highest court, but shouldn't the number of sexual assault charges levied against a Supreme Court nominee should be zero?

"No, I think I've made it very clear that I
don't give a single fuck about democracy."

-Mitch McConnell, actual quote

Anyway, Kavanaugh has denied the allegations and sixty-five women who knew him in high school forty years ago all signed a letter saying he didn't assault them so he's probably fine? Right? I don't know, it kind of just sounds like he didn't sexually assault these specific women. It doesn't mean he didn't make unwanted advances towards Ford, but Republicans are still pretty keen to get Kavanaugh seated before the midterms which is weird given that they blocked Obama's last Supreme Court pick Merrick Garland on the idea that voters should have a say before anyone is confirmed.

Yeah, I mean the whole
family is garbage people.

Oh, and if this entire shitshow wasn't shitshowy enough, the President's son has chimed in with a funny funny joke about how hilarious sexual assault is. See that? (Left). That's a picture he posted on Instagram of a fake love letter scrawled in a child-like hand as though a young Kavanaugh wrote it to Cindy asking her to be his girlfriend. Yeah, it says Cindy, apparently because when he instant-gramed this, Ford (whose name is Christine) was still anonymous. As to why he did this in the first place, I suppose it's because he's not a good person.

I think to him, the joke here is that Democrats are just overreacting. Overreacting to the idea that Republicans are so desperate to get someone in before the midterms that they might be seating an attempted rapist on the Supreme Court. Ha.

"Hey, at least we know sixty-five women I definitely didn't attack..."

-Probably soon-to-be Supreme Court Justice

for the next thirty years, Brett Kavanaugh