To Boldly Obsess...

Canon, reboot, Abrams-verse...
for real, you're in for some nerd chop.

Are you as outraged by Star Trek: Discovery's flagrant violation of established Prime Universe canon as I am? No? Good, because that was a trick. I was trying to weed out the ultra fans who have been having a months long nutty over the new show and its deviations from-hang on, before I get into this, two things: First, spoiler alert for Discovery if you haven't seen it. Go watch it, it's rad. Second, this is the part where I switch on the 'buckle your nerd belt sign,' because we're in for some nerdulence.

"Klingons are bald space orcs
and always fucking have been."

-Discovery's creative team

Still with me? Super. So for those unfamiliar with Star Trek-I don't know, maybe you watch sports and go on dates. Anyway, if you've not been following, it's back with a new show which, while totally good, has been somewhat controversial among hard core trekkies for playing fast and loose with Star Trek lore while at the same time the producers are insisting that it's set in the original canon and a prequel to the original series. But the alien make-up was updated, the sets look more high-tech than what was on the 1960's show and characters can swear because streaming.

Holy shit, fans, amiright? Pfft...yeah, I'll shut up now. But for whatever reason the new old Enterprise has been a particular point of consternation. It showed up in the last minute of the last episode of Discovery's first season looking appropriately like something from the future as seen from today and not the future as seen from the age of rotary phones.

The updated Starship Enterprise, not looking like
something I glued together when I was ten.

I suppose it comes down to who you
fear more: lawyers or Star Trek fans. Yeah,
I'm not sure who I'm zinging here either.

I think the new ship looks awesome. I know it's blasphemy, but Star Trek was made at a time when TV's were comparatively shitty and color was a novelty. A six-foot model with Christmas lights just isn't going to cut it. So as a creative choice I think it was a smart move. But according to John Eaves who did some of the concept art, the classic ship's redesign was also a don't get sued decision. Because Star Trek's TV and movie rights are divided up between CBS and Paramount, Eaves said that the legal department insisted that the ship look 25% different.

If he turned in a concept sketch of a
Kia Sorento, would that be 100% different?

Which wah? Does intelectual property even work like that? Twenty-five percent different? Well, it turns out it Eaves is a better concept artist than a company spokesperson. CBS released a statement-yes, a statement. Because this is totally serious you guys. A statement clarifying that the update was a creative decision and not a legal one. But whatever the rational, Eaves also tried to allay fan-fears about whether the new look means that Star Trek has been rebooted again.

And a great sigh of relief went
up from the crowd gathered at the
Pasadena Hilton Conference Room B.

He explained that since Discovery is set ten years before the original series, there's plenty of time for an in-universe explanation as to why the Enterprise looks different a decade later:

"We had the advantage of a 10-year gap in Trek history to retro the ship a bit with elements that could be removed and replaced somewhere in the timeframe of Discovery and the Original series..."

-John Eaves, muddying the waters

Rest easy fellow nerds, rest easy. Look, I get being super into the lore of these things, and yes retcons and inconsistencies poke holes in the believability of a fictional world, but ultimately this is a TV show about aliens and space and shit. And sometimes having an aneurism over the details just isn't worth it. Besides, wouldn't it would stretch what passes for credulity to suggest that Starfleet would recall the Enterprise to undergo some kind of de-fit to make it look like this:

Which is to say, a crappy model. There, I said it.