He knows what 'misspeak' means, right?

Yeah, misspoke. I don’t even think he know what-huh? Who? Sorry, Rick Santorum, whom you might remember as the garbage human who suggested on Sunday that instead of protesting the lawmakers' criminal levels of not doing anything about gun violence in the wake of America's now monthly mass shootings, they could just learn CPR.

"Ok, thirty compressions and then breathe into here...but...but how is
this supposed to help in a shooting? Do we shield ourselves from the hail
of assault rifle fire with the dummy? Or do we use it as a decoy?"

-Some kid, with a valid question

"It's all a big misunderstanding. I'm a
Republican, I'm not supposed to be
held accountable for things I say."

Which...I mean, CPR? Are you goddamn kidding me? No, he's not. He is however walking it back, or at least trying to. Today in an interview with Chris Cuomo he said he misspoke:

"The fact of the matter is I did misspeak in using the term CPR. I think Sanjay Gupta's job here at CNN is probably safe being the medical commentator on things."

-Rick Santorum, hoping

we're all idiots

"Oh don't go dragging us into this..."

-an indignant weasel

The fact of the matter is that Rick Santorum is an asshat. And Sanjay Gupta by the by, is CNN's medical correspondent, so here the former Senator is making a funny joke about how he doesn't know what CPR is, and therefore isn’t a threat to Gupta’s job. Ha. Which, if true-and no, of course it's not true, it's just him trying to weasel out of that thing he said. But if it were true, if Rick Santorum honestly doesn't know what CPR is, why was he referring to it in the first place? And how did he get to become a Senator? Or graduate hight school?

Pictured: The look on Chris Cuomo's
face as Santorum asked us all to look
on the bright side...of school shootings.

Cuomo then asked the logical follow up: "What did you mean?"

"Well it obscured the much larger point. The larger point is that what we've seen from all of these mass shootings, is that the things that have come out-the positive things that have come out of these mass shootings are organizations and people who have actually focused on what we can do on our individual schools and community to actually prevent these, these types of things..."

-Rick Santorum, tap dancing

So no, he didn't misspeak. Misspeaking is saying heighth when you meant height or when you order a venti when you wanted a grande.

"Oh...I'm sorry, did I say venti caramel latté? Because I meant kids
should learn CPR instead of speaking out against our country's
preposterously lax gun laws that put their lives at constant risk."

Yes, it would be that difficult. In fact,
the effort would probably kill him.

What he was doing was trying to score some political points with his base by going after some kids who have done more good in two months than he has in his entire homophobic, anti-choice, gun-loving career. The headline here is 'Rick Santorum walks back CPR comment' but really, shouldn't it be 'Rick Santorum said a shitty thing and then lied about it?' Would it have been that difficult to say something like: 'Hey, that CPR comment was pretty stupid, sorry everybody, I'll try to be a person next time?" Like, for real.

I mean, just from a cynical politics perspective, how bad is he at his job when he's going after survivors of a school shooting? Like, I know he's not in office right now, but did he think he'd come away from this looking good?

"Honestly I just stumble from one sickeningly insensitive comment
to the next hoping someone might invite me on to their show."

-Former Senator and

also-ran, Rick Santorum