It's legal 'cause shut up.

Are we really asking so much? Is it crazy to suggest that the President probably shouldn't be a brand? Because the current President, whom you might remember as the catastrophically unqualified former gameshow host who brags about assaulting women and for whom most of us didn't vote, is a brand. Here, lookit this:

Above: the leader of the free word selling shit with his
name on it on Facebook like goddamn yoga pants. 

Why waste time explaining to everyone
that you're a white person with a persecution
complex when you can just wear a hat?

Yeah, that's the President hawking Make America Great Again tchotchkes on his Facebook page. I sure hope you took advantage of his Black Friday sale. I mean, MAGA swag for 30% off! Hats, stickers, yard signs, flags, even dog leashes. You know, for a dog you hate. It's everything you need to advertise to the world that your irrational hatred of Hillary Clinton was more important to you than putting a reasonable person in charge of our nation's nuclear arsenal or that you're totally cool with literal Nazis marching in the street.

No really, all this is real. In fact, check out the online store. You can even buy a three-inch commemorative bronze medallion with Donald Trump's face stamped on one side and the American flag on the other. It's the perfect way to commemorate that time he put his face on a medal and you paid for it.

Pictured: a thing that is real. No, I'm serious.

Trump Vineyards Wine:
"'Tastes so classy you won't
even believe how classy..."

So yeah, the President is a brand. Welcome to the future. It's not just stupid junk with his stupid slogan and stupid, smug face all over it either, he also has golf courses. And hotels. And remember that pyramid scheme/bullshit school he ran? I think he managed to settle out of court on that one. Oh and a winery. A winery that makes wine that is sold at Shenandoah National Park in Virginia. In fairness, according to Snopes, the National Park contracts out the gift shop to a private business who'd been selling the wine for a while now, but you can still buy it there. At a National Park.

Now some may look at this and see a conflict of interest that's questionable at best and criminal at worst, but others see synergy. Those others are, of course, terrible people. Look, I'm not a constitutional scholar or anything, but this can't be legal, can it? The President monetizing his office for personal gain? Right?

"Legal? Who can say? But thirty percent off?
That's a deal. Can't argue with that."

-Some guy selling

useless shit online