Imitation is the highest form of imitation!

Remember when creativity in the television and film industries meant coming up with something new and original and not everything was an adaptation, a sequel or a reboot? Yeah, I don't either. But I'm still going to call bullshit on the Lord of the Rings TV show.

Although I'm sure the New Zealand Hobbit-based
tourism industry is breathing a sigh of relief.

Again, I refer you to the Hobbit Trilogy
which was, to be fair, was two and a half
more movies longer than it needed to be.

Huh? Oh yes, apparently Amazon, which owns everything Disney doesn't, has just snapped up the rights to produce a TV series set in the Lord of the Rings universe. I say the LOTR (acronym!) universe because the series is going to be a kind of prequel taking place before The Fellowship of the Ring movie. But wait, didn't Peter Jackson already mine the shit out of the pre-Fellowship era with the Hobbit trilogy? Sure, but why should a minor detail like a lack of source material stand in the way of milking Tolkien fans?

And milk them they shall because goddamn did the Tolkien estate cash in on this with Amazon paying $250 million. Yes, of money. And it's not just a one off, but a multi-season commitment and a spin-off. Yes, a spin-off for the series they haven't even made yet. Which, no really where are they getting the source material? Did Christopher Tolkien "find" another lost manuscript in the attic? Are they going to adapt The Children of Húrin? Or even more baffling, The Silmarillion?

Probably not. People tend to like TV
shows where things actually happen. Burn!

"So what's your excuse George R.R. Martin?
Still waiting on book six. Just saying..."

-J.R.R. Tolkien, throwing shade

It's a fair question, I mean, Tolkien's output has been a little light since he, you know, died in 1973. Here's what his estate had to say:

"Sharon (Tal Yguado, head of scripted series for Amazon) and the team at Amazon Studios have exceptional ideas to bring to the screen previously unexplored stories based on J.R.R. Tolkien's original writings."

-A rep for the Tolkien estate, 

struggling to be heard over the sound 

of J.R.R. Tolkien spinning in his grave

"Original? That's adorable."

-Jeff Bezos

I'm not sure 'hey, people like Lord of the Rings so let's make Lord of the Rings' qualifies as an exceptional idea. Also "...previously un-explored stories based on J.R.R. Tolkien's original writings." Is it me or is that statement a little...you know, misleading? Like, they're not explicitly saying that they've got some here-to-for unseen Tolkien stories to base the show on, but they'd kind of like you to think so. Like it could be anything written by anyone and they just stick in a Hobbit. Which ok, cool, but why not just write something original?

Bezos knows Lord of the Rings is
more about adventure and whimsey and
less about incest and shanking, right?

Wait, is Jeff Bezos mocking me in that caption? Well yes he is, but then he was recently named the world's richest human so he is, by any reasonable measure, right to do so. Also it was, it turns out, his creative vision that prompted Amazon to buy the LOTR rights in the first place. And by creative vision I mean he looked at the success of Game of Thrones and then told his TV people to make something like that. You know, because fantasy is in right now. You see, Game of Thrones has swords and magic, and the Hobbit has swords and magic so samey-samey, right?

Ugh...Is that how you get to be the richest person on Earth? By looking at someone else's successful idea and then telling the people under you to go buy you something like that?

"Well yeah, what's your point?"

-Jeff Bezos, from 

atop his money horde