So which gods have we offended this time?

Damnit this week, could you be any more disappointing? Goddamn Biff Tannen electoral-college won the election, Leonard Cohen died and then and then as if to add insult to injury Amazon sold out of NES Classics.

What? Don't look at me like that, I said the election thing first...

It's an NES, but tiny. Nostalgia + tiny version
of something = we nerds will buy anything.

Ok, so obviously I'm not really putting these things on the same level or anything. I really do have a sense of perspective, but I was really looking forward to handing Nintendo another sixty bucks for a bunch of games I've already bought like four times so I could forget the imminent collapse of our democracy while giving myself early onset arthritis wrapping my giant man-hands around those tiny, un-ergonomic NES controllers of yesteryear.

Or can't we cut a deal where Trump's
just President of the red states? What?
Oh, like you'd ever set foot in Florida.

But for serious, it's been a terrible week and we all deal with it differently. Some people have recommitted themselves to volunteering and public service, some are taking to the streets to voice their outrage and others are straight up threatening to secede. Yeah, it's called Calexit and it sounds pretty crackpot. I mean, I'm horrified that Trump won too, but secession's pretty illegal. Like, the Civil War settled that. Secondly, and more importantly, it's the red states that made a shitty decision here, if anything they should leave.

Above: Wyoming-ians. Electorally
 speaking, they just count more then us. 

I don't know. In the meantime I say we work on the electoral college. As in getting rid of it and the undue significance it gives to states whose only contribution to the national discourse are suing over not having to bake gay wedding cakes and screwing up our elections. I mean, goddamnit aren't we tired of-huh? Oh, right. Sorry. I did say I'd try being nicer to goons, but the last time something like this happened we got George W. Bush. Holy shit, I'd take Bush over Trump at this point. Has it come to this?

Oh well, I suppose I can take solace in the idea that somewhere some eight-year old is going to find a tiny Nintendo under their Christmas tree and begin a life-long, yet sedentary love of classic video games and not going outside.

...or a bunch of jerks bought them all up so they
could resell them for three or five times as much.