Starring Donald Trump as 'Flustered Reporter'

Does he know that we can see him? Like, actually see him on video doing the thing he's vehemently denying? Because we can. It's the future and everything a presidential candidate does and says is more or less preserved for all time. Huh? Oh, I'm talking about this week's horrible thing Donald Trump did.

Pictured: the permanent and instantly accessible
repository of everything we do and say. Also porn.

No really, is anyone surprised
by him at this point? Like at all?

Look, I know that getting outraged about him at this point is kind of passé. I mean, everything he does is designed to attract attention. And like a sugar-high five year old, he doesn't know or care about the difference between good attention and bad attention. His latest dick move is making fun of a reporter's disability and I guess everyone's upset because after all, how could Donald Trump take such a cheap shot? I mean, he's been nothing but a class act his entire campaign.

Above: Trump's allegedly sober and
of sound mind supporters, allegedly. 

What'd he do? Oh, well remember how he was repeating that ridiculous urban myth about how Muslims in New Jersey were celebrating on 9/11? Well he was, and then to prove it he said that a reporter called Serge Kovaleski wrote an article for the Washington Post back in 2001 that backs him up. Kovaleski then said 'Ok, no I didn't.' Which, he didn't. The article mentioned the alleged celebrations, but calls them 'alleged' which is reporterspeak for 'probably horseshit.' Kovaleski called Trump on misrepresenting his article and then things got classy.

Oh, by the way, Kovaleski suffers from a congenital joint condition which I mention because it's going to be important in a minute. At a campaign rally in South Carolina on Tuesday, Trump called out Kovaleski on his refutation of Trump's claim that he claimed (still with me?) that the 9/11 parties happened. And by 'called out' I mean did his Kovaleski impression which included his funny, funny imitation of his physical disability. Awesome. But that's not the stupidest part. The stupidest part was when he tweeted:

Pictured: Trump's tweet about-you know, I don't even think I need to caption this one.

Here's a shot of Kovaleski compared
with Trump's 'flustered reporter.'
I think we owe Trump an apology.

Oh, he doesn't know what Kovaleski looks like and he was just making fun of disabled people in general. In fact, he says he wasn't even making fun of anyone in particular:

"I merely mimicked what I thought would be a flustered reporter trying to take back a statement he made long ago." 

-Donald Trump on how we're the idiots

and he's just really good at improv

You know, it's bad enough that he has to take this guy's physical condition and use it to get a laugh out of the slobbering redstate hyenas who will one day vote for him, but to suggest that everyone who's offended is just reading into something that isn't there insults us all. Like, we can click on any one of hundreds of video links and watch him mock the guy. That's how the internet works. Just say you're sorry and stop being such an asshole.

See those people with cameras? They're not following you around
 because they enjoy your winning personality and pleasant disposition.