Moore's Law (No, the other Moore's law)

Pictured: Losers.

Yesterday was supposed to be Alabama's first day of marriage equality but Chief Justice Roy Moore (remember him?) thought it would be a hoot to write a letter to state officials threatening them with a strongly-worded letter from the Governor if they went ahead and started issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples as they'd been order to do by a Federal Judge who-wait, can he even do that? No, of course he can't. Federal Courts trump state-level courts because we won the Civil War.

"Oh shit, I forgot Joe Pesci's birthday..."

-Some old lady

Regardless of the legality, the result was that gay couples in many parts of Alabama showed up to get married on Monday and instead found either state officials unwilling to issue licenses or the offices closed. Not because Alabama's ban on same-sex marriage was suddenly re-instituted, not because it was Joe Pesci's birthday, but because Roy Moore's theological icky carries legal weight in the State of Alabama. He insisted that the ruling that overturned the ban was itself unconstitutional, but really, I think he just doesn't like gay people.

Moore's accusations of judicial overreach might've sound half-plausible if they weren't coming from the same guy who was once fired from his job as Chief Justice because he wouldn't take down his Ten Commandments monument from the Alabama Supreme Court building (no, you're thinking of the guy who did the exact same thing in Oklahoma).

"I don't see what the big deal is. As long as you're worshiping the god I tell you to worship, and not
coveting what I tell you not to covet, you've got nothing to worry about from the State of Alabama."

-Roy Moore, apparently unaware 

that this is not the Bronze Age 

Look, I'm not saying that people with strong religious convictions shouldn't be judges, but maybe people with strong religious convictions shouldn't, you know, be judges. Here, look at what he wrote about homosexuality during a child-custody case back in 2002:

Above: Alabama's earliest history.
You know, 6000 years ago.

"From its earliest history, the law of Alabama has consistently condemned homosexuality. The common law adopted in this State and upon which our laws are premised likewise declares homosexuality to be detestable and an abominable sin. Homosexual conduct by its very nature is immoral, and its consequences are inherently destructive to the natural order of society."

-Roy Moore, the guy in 

charge of the law in Alabama

Holy shit, that's not a legal opinion, that's a religious condemnation of gays handed down from the bench. I'm pretty sure Moore's job is to review lower court rulings. That's it. It's not to try and nullify higher court decisions because he feels they conflict with his interpretation of the Bible. At least, I don't think that's his job. But then again, this is Alabama we're talking about, so who knows?*

Hey Roy, can you do this? No? Then shut up.

*Sorry Alabama, but you did vote this guy into office. Like, twice.