Not so fast!

Get me, I just insulted Saudi Arabia
and the State of Utah.

What in the name of balls is wrong with people? Specifically this people. His name's Trestin Meacham and he's going on a hunger strike until the State of Utah un-legalizes same sex marriage. Wait a sec, Utah, America's Saudi Arabia (what? It's got deserts and a blurry distinction between church and state), has gay marriage now? Why yes it does. Last month, a district court judge ruled that the 2004 referendum banning same sex couples from getting married was unconstitutional. Gay marriage in Utah, cool, right? Not so fast says Meacham!

Apparently he is unable to carry on with his life in a world where gay people are allowed to marry and as such has vowed to survive only on water and vitamins until Utah uses its right of nullification to throw out the judge's ruling.

Pictured: Gay people absolutely ruining Trestin Meacham's day.

"Hey Cindy, want to see them really
lose their shit? Let's make out."

What the fuck is the right of nullification? you might ask. Here, I looked it up: It's a power that right wing nut jobs insist states have which allows them to override Federal law because they don't like minorities having equal rights. It was tried back in the fifties when some Southern States wanted to throw out Brown V. Board of Education and keep their schools segregated. Back then Supreme Court called bullshit, schools were desegregated and racism totally ended forever (I assume, I mean, I can't spend my whole day on Wikipedia).

What does any of that have to do with Meacham and his unfinished Subway card?

Thanks a lot gay people, Trestin was
two foot-longs away from a free sub...

Above: The people of Utah
(well, some of them anyway).

I'm not entirely sure. I guess the connection between constitutional theory and subsisting on bottled water and multi-vitamins makes more sense when your blood sugar is low. Here's some horseshit from Meacham's blog about how the people of Utah had their right to treat gay people like crap brutally curtailed:

"On Friday the 20th of December, a federal judge overturned the State Constitution of Utah and ruled against and its restriction against same sex marriage [sic]. In so doing, Article 1 Section 8 and the 10th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution were violated. Even worse a law voted on by a strong majority of the people of Utah was rescinded, thus robbing the people of their voice in government." 

I feel for him, I really do (no, I really don't), but why does he think this nullification shit's going to fly now? Yeah, the Court tossed out a voter-approved referendum, but that referendum singled out a group of people and took away their rights. You can't just gang up on people like that, that's one of the reasons we have a government.

You could argue that the Union violated the Southern State's right to own
people and make them work for no money. On the other hand, screw them,
they were owning people and making them work for no money.

What? Some of his best
friends are totally gay...

Oh, but before you go calling this Meacham guy a stubborn homophobe with delusions of being the Gandhi of Utah (you know, if Gandhi was into screwing over gay people instead of freeing India from British control) you should know that this has nothing to do with hating gay people. This is all about state's rights:

"This has nothing to do with hatred of a group of people. I have friends and relatives who practice a homosexual lifestyle and I treat them with the same respect and kindness that I would anyone. This is about religious freedom, and an out of control federal government."

-Trestin Meacham,

on how we've got it all wrong

Alan and James practicing their
homosexuality for the big game on Saturday.

Ok, a couple of points here. Firstly, anyone using the phrase: practice a homosexual lifestyle, doesn't know what they're talking about. It's not like playing the piano or a sport or something, it's just a thing people are. Also, you're not treating people with respect and kindness when you stage a hunger strike in protest of their civil liberties. If these gay friends and family members even exist, I'm willing to bet that they don't like him very much. And finally, I'm a little fuzzy on what this has to do with religious freedom as it's not really the state's job to make sure the law lines up with his religious views.

Look, I'm sorry to sound like a broken record here, but seriously, what is missing in Trestin Meacham's life that he's willing to go so far to try and keep gay people from enjoying the same rights as everybody else? Is he feeling under appreciated? Unloved? Here's a thought: Maybe some gay or lesbian couple in Utah could invite him to their wedding? Preferably one with a buffet. Maybe he'd come around.

Joanne was a raging homophobe, until she tried the prosciutto-
wrapped dates. Now she's checking out the bridesmaids.