Master Blaster runs Barter Town!

So when the aliens come and burn our cities to the ground in the name of the Shadow Proclamation, and reduce our society to the technological level of the stone age so that our deranged species never contaminates the galaxy with its congenital assholery, remember that this, this, is the reason why.

Oh don't pretend we didn't have this coming...

Above: Stupid idiots fighting
over useless crap. Yeah America!

No really, if you didn't click on the link, here it is again. Click and despair for you've just witnessed one of a litany of violent crimes committed today by and against people participating in the closest thing we have to a real life Thunderdome. Yeah, today was the annual bullshit that is Black Friday and once again, it was bloody. Shootings, assaults, taser-ings. Yes, taser-ings, if you lied about clicking on the link above, that's what you would have seen, a woman using a stun gun on a fellow shopper. What were they even fighting about anyway?

If you can call it living...

No, you know what? It doesn't matter. On a scientific level there is nothing, no dispute that could reasonably arise in a retail setting between strangers that would justify the punches, kicks and voltage these two were throwing. Someone cut you in line? Yeah, ok, that sucks, but move on. The person ahead of you bought the last Buttercream Mint 3-Wick Candle at Bath and Body Works? You know what? You'll live. What is wrong with us as a civilization that we kick off the holiday season every year with a casualty list?

Unless the women in that video are Immortals and are cursed to wander the Earth battling each other with the victor taking the other's head and with it their power, there is no goddamn reason grown-ass adults should be resorting to tasers.

 Although saving 40% at Forever 21 does feel amazing.