Pat Robertson: Expert on the AIDS

So how much crazier does Pat Robertson have to get before someone fits him for a straight jacket and tin foil hat and hauls him off the set of his show? I only ask because during the 'Ask a Paranoid Televangelist' segment, Pat basically accused every HIV positive person in San Francisco of intentionally infecting others just for the hell of it.

Above: Ironically, the fact that Pat Robertson still has a TV show is the best
evidence Atheists have that the universe is a cold, empty expanse devoid of meaning.

Those sparks flying out of
Katy Parry's breasts? AIDS. 

It started with a viewer who volunteered to drive her church's bus but later found out that one of her passengers was HIV positive. Since most 700 Club viewers are pretty sure you can get the AIDS from watching Katy Perry videos, 'Mary' was convinced that if she got into an accident, this guy's blood would squidge its way out of him and seek out her arteries like that alien oil stuff from the X-Files. Because of this totally rational fear, she stopped going to church entirely.

Statistically, only one in 20 people
will get AIDS from a church bus.

Pat, of course, starts off with his usual bullshit about the secret gay cabal that rules America from a smoke-filled boardroom deep under the Castro District, but then concludes that driving an HIV positive person to church isn't quite as dangerous as say, having unprotected anal intercourse with him, which wasn't really on the table anyway. Here's an excerpt from the show:

Pat: "You didn't catch anything, so keep going to church and praise The Lord. You got any thoughts on that one?"

Pat's semi-rational co-host: "You know, I think you were doing a good thing by transporting this man, I have known many people with AIDS and have never felt fearful of a scenario like this. I guess even if you'd had a car accident...I mean-" 

This woman could tell us that leprechauns steal her thoughts at night and
that the moon is made of oatmeal and she'd still be the sanest person on the 700 Club.

Sensing that his co-host was making too much sense, Pat decides chimes in with some serious, 'round-the-bend space-lunacy, and I warn you, this is bonkers, even for him, so like, sit down.

Yeah, if one were to quantify Robertson's crazy in terms of
Christopher Lloyd characters, this one would be like 7 or 8 Judge Dooms.

Here goes:

Now available in grape, strawberry
and AIDS, they're positively delicious!

Pat: "You know what they do in San Francisco? Some of the gay community, they want to get people, so if they've got the stuff (referring to HIV), they'll have a ring, you shake hands, and the ring's got a little thing where you cut your finger."

Pat's semi-rational co-host: "Really?"

Pat: "Yeah really, it's that kind of vicious stuff that'd be the equivalent of murder..."

"AIDS for everyone!"

-The Gay Community,

according to Robertson

Holy shit. I mean, just, holy shit. According to the article, CBN (Robertson's network) has cut the comments from the video, and Robertson himself has issued an apology...well, it's not so much an apology as it is a statement defending his remarks and explaining how we misunderstood him: 

"I regret that my remarks had been misunderstood, but this often happens because people do not listen to the context of remarks which are being said."

-Pat Robertson,

on why we're all idiots

You see, when he said that the gay community was infecting people with secret AIDS rings what he really meant to say was that the gay community was infecting people with secret AIDS rings. See the difference? It's all about context. Thanks for clearing that up, Pat.

Pictured: Pat's AIDS ring comment going unchallenged by everyone in the goddamn room.
For real, anyone want to step in here? Camera guy? Producers? Anyone? No?