Pat Robertson: Marriage Counselor

"Well, you could become a Muslim and then you could beat her."

-Pat Crazy Eyes Robertson

"No, it's ok, we kinda
do hate women."

-Mitt Romney*

I'm not making that up, that shit came out of his mouth. He really and for true said that, and then he and his co-host laughed at his funny, funny joke. For realsies. Check out the clip. Now remind me again, how long did we have to listen to Fox News complain about Jeremiah Wright? I mean, Pat Robertson campaigned for Mitt Romney on Saturday and then on Monday hilariously suggested that a man move to Saudi Arabia and convert to Islam so he can legally beat his wife. Holy shit. If only he could have found a way to insult gay people with that joke, he could have achieved a douchefecta. Look, I'm not suggesting that all Republicans hate women, but the GOP sure doesn't mind courting the misogynist vote. 

Like, seriously, let's talk about 'Michael,' the dude that's writing in to Robertson's show for marital advice. Check out his email, at least I think it's an email. It's possible that Michael doesn't believe in the internet. Or dinosaurs. Or a spherical Earth.

What country would I have to move to in order to
legally beat the shit out of Michael for being a prick?

In Ricky's defense, Lucy
did burn the eggs.

I'm no psychologist, but I suspect that Michael's wife doesn't respect him as the 'head of the house' because we don't live in the 1800's and a good divorce attorney is a google search away. And what's up with Robertson immediately leaping to Michael's defense? He has no information to go on other than Michael's serial killer-esque (can I make that an '-esque?') assertion that she's become a real problem, but that doesn't stop him from coming up with this whole psych profile about how she was a rebellious child whose parents didn't beat her nearly often enough. So, what's a 'head of the house' supposed to do? Just in case you thought maybe Pat was joking, he reiterates his suggestion that Michael move to Saudi Arabia. You know, where they're cool with wife beating. Ha. What a card, that Pat Robertson.

Oh, and Pat's co-host? I'm no expert when it comes to evangelicals, but she herself appears to be a woman. What's up with that?

Above: Terry Meeusen, 700 Club co-host. Like any good baby-machine/food preparer,
Terry knows to keep her eyes respectfully lowered in Robertson's presence or else
risk being sent on 'special assignment' to Saudi Arabia. See what I did there?

*what? He said it with his eyes.

ADVERTISEMENT

Operators are standing by...if they know what's good for them.