Gather around Olaf the story teller as he tells the tale of Todd, son of Paul, who did open wide his great and mighty maw and then drowned in the river of bullshit that flowed forth. |
Really, it's what he's doing. |
"...(pregnancy as a result of rape) is really rare. If it's a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try and shut that whole thing down..."
-Todd Akin, Republican and medical genius
Holy shit! This is major! For ages we humans have been attempting to prevent pregnancies with everything from chastity belts to birth control pills that interfere with a biological cycle linked to the goddamn moon and you mean to tell me that women have been able to selectively 'shut that whole thing down' all along? What the hell ladies?
Above: A close up of one of the many vaginal turbo lasers that protect the female body both from unwanted pregnancies and rebel scum. Source: Science. |
Look out pregnant women, Todd Akin's on to you. |
Representative Akin then continues to dig his own grave by suggesting that there should probably be 'some punishment' for rape, but that it should fall on the rapist and not the baby. As for the victim, I guess her vagina was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.
"I didn't say I hate rape victims, I'm just saying they're probably liars."
-Todd Akin, cautionary tale
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