What, Brian and Tom get no parkas?

Above: the thing I hope these
douchebags get sued into.

Wow. I hope Brian and Tom sue these dicks into the stone age. Is that a thing you can do? Sue someone into the stone age? Well, I hope it is and I hope they do it. What the hell am I talking about? Here, check out this piece of galling anti-gay nonsense. Brian Edwards and Tom Privitere, a married couple living in New Jersey were tipped off that a Virginia-based group called Public Advocate of the United States was using a doctored version of a photo from their engagement party in an anti-gay political mailing in Colorado. Here's the original, non-hate-filled pic:

Just a happy, newly engaged couple enjoying New York's temperate climate...

And here's the (poorly) photoshopped version in which the Public Advocate cropped out NYC and replaced it with the frigid desolation of Colorado. 

...what the hell? Public Advocate of the United States couldn't
be bothered to photoshop some winter coats on these two? It's like 30 below...

It's true, just ask Kirk Cameron. TV's
Mike Seaver and noted expert on gayness.

I think this raises the question of why Public Advocate didn't simply get a couple of male interns to make out instead of stealing the photo. Well as a drooling pack of hate-mongers, they're only happy when they're making gay people miserable and turning this couple's cherished memory into a vitriol-laced message of intolerance kills two birds. Also, making the interns kiss would turn them into insatiable cock-hungry sodomites who will stop at nothing to further the homosexual agenda.

"I can't be expected to keep track of
all the anti-gay bullshit I send out."

-Eugene Delgaudio

So yeah, Public Advocate of the United States, a group whose name makes them sound like a pack of Erins Brockovich fighting the good fight against evil corporations who manufacture baby cancer, is actually on the Southern Poverty Law Center's list of anti-gay hate groups. When reached for a comment, Eugene Delgaudio, President of Public Advocate and Willie Tanner look-a-like, spouted some crazy about dinosaurs and the President and then pointed out that there's like "...2,000 photos and in the neighborhood of 80 to 100 videos on [his] website..." and that he'd be "hard-pressed to find anything today."  


So yeah, his shitty little homophobe's club gets 15 minutes of national attention and he's too busy to root through the 'I hate queers' folder on his desktop and delete the photo? Here, enjoy Eugene's statement to his fans on the Public Advocate Website:

Dinosaur? Ow! You got burned
Southern Poverty Law Center!

Thousands Flock To Public Advocate as Prehistoric Dinosaur Southern Poverty Law Center Sends A Letter 

July 11, 2012

Statement From Eugene Delgaudio, President of Public Advocate:
Another news release from the Southern Poverty Law Center that they send to everybody about Public Advocate.

And as President of Public Advocate, I am looking into it.

#30#

End of Statement.

Well, he's got us there. It is impossible
to support marriage equality without also
supporting mandatory sex with donkeys.

Looking into it? #30#? Well, I guess that's the end of that. Or is it? While he might have said 'End of Statement,' Eugene totally drivels on for a few more stylistically daring and randomly capitalized lines. He expresses some outrage about the way the SPLC took issue with his group's staging of a man-on-donkey wedding to illustrate how marriage equality is exactly like bestiality, and then he mentions some of his groups hilarious YouTube videos including the one about Barney Frank (he's gay, get it?) and the one with Ted Kennedy's swim team.

There's even links to a few including one about Moses getting arrested by Nancy Pelosi's Thought Police. Click on it, it's amazing (look out cast of Birdemic!). Oh and that music you here? That's 'Tank!' by Yoko Kanno from Cowboy Bebop's opening credits. How dare they!

It's getting so bible camp teens dressed as Moses can't even read the Ten Commandments
without getting pretend arrested by other teens dressed as British Bobbies.
Thanks Nancy Pelosi, thanks for ruining America.

He's like regular Jesus, except he leads
a team of spandex-clad, giant robot
pilots against the forces of evil.  

On an interesting side note, Jean White, the Colorado State Senator being attacked (along with gay people everywhere) in Public Advocate's mailing is a moderate Republican who supports Civil Unions, so as far as PAUS (acronym! Pronounced: Pah-oose) is concerned she's basically a donkey-rapist. I think we have a united front here people. In one fell-swoop, Public Advocate of the United States has given Gays, Republicans and Cowboy Bebop fans all a reason to prey to Cher, Ronald Regan and Manga Jesus (in that order) that Eugene Delgaudio and his bible camp acting troupe get canker sores.