Taste the Science!

'Awww...but I wanna...'

-Scream Guy, making his case

In an amazing display of whatever the Korean word for chutzpah is, South Korea's envoy to the International Whaling Commission has announced that his country no longer feels like abiding by the decades old moratorium on not driving whales to extinction. Why? Well, it's been "painful and frustrating for the people who have been traditionally been taking whales for food." Sort of like how our ban on stabbing people has been difficult on those who would like to stab people.

'I guess this whale got lost, wandered on
deck and slipped in this pool of blood.'

-Some Whaler

According to the article, people have been taking whales 'accidentally' caught in nets for years despite the ban. This announcement is just South Korea's way of saying 'screw you' to the rest of the Commission's signatories. And no, I have no idea how you accidentally catch and kill a whale. I've managed to go years without accidentally capturing, killing and then processing the carcass of a fifteen ton Minke Whale. It's like there's an entire not-so-secret whaling industry based on assuming we're all idiots.

Kinoya's Canned Whale Meat:
Taste the Science!

Speaking of assuming we're all idiots: for years, Japan has been making use of an 'it would be funny if it wasn't so sad' loop-hole in the ban that makes whaling totally cool if it's in the name of scientific research. Yeah, that's right, you can kill a whale and sell it for meat as long as you slice it open like a taun taun, feel around inside its gooey innards and then shout: 'for science!' At least Norway and Iceland, in typical Viking dontgiveafuckness, have the decency to openly ignore the toothless ban.

Look, I'm not trying to knock anyone's traditions here, but there's a finite number of whales left in the world. Is our need for pre-electrical lighting, traditional whale burgers and authentic corsets really worth wiping out whales forever? Can we seriously not come up with a anti-whaling policy that's better than: 'Please don't kill whales, unless you feel like it and find them delicious.'

Sorry Steampunks, your otherwise totally accurate alternate universe sci-fi
Victorian-era costumes will have to make due with synthetic corset boning.