Monday, April 11, 2016

Because Bruce Springsteen, Bryan Adams and porn can be very persuasive...

You hear that Mississippi? Bryan Adams doesn't want anything to do with your backwards anti-gay religious freedom bill and-huh? He's a musician. From Canada....in the 90's. No? He did that song for Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves? It was a movie. With Kevin Costner, god you're making me feel old.
It was called Everything I do, I do it for you and if you were a kid in
 the 90's you might remember it as the slow dance song in middle school.
Go on, click here and prepared to get rocked out of your denim jacket.
Yes. It totally is about 69-ing, not the
year. Get your mind back into the gutter
But I'm not here to make fun of Bryan Adams, even though he spells Brian wrong. How come? Because he's a stand up guy that's how come. Behold:

"...I cannot in good conscience perform in a State where certain people are being denied their civil rights due to their sexual orientation. Therefore I'm cancelling my 14 April show at the Mississippi Coast Coliseum. Using my voice in solidarity with all my LGBT friends to repeal this extremely discriminatory bill. Hopefully Mississippi will right itself and I can come back and perform for all of my many fans. I look forward to that day." 
-Bryan Adams, finding 
Mississippi incomprehensible

We all look forward to that day Bryan Adams, we all do...I mean the day when Mississippi repeals that ridiculous law, not the day when he can go play Biloxi again. I'm not actually a fan of his music. I am however a fan of his not playing his music for a good cause. 
I'm sure change is just around the corner...
I'm not going to waste a Pandora skip
or anything, but he's not my favorite.
Adams' move comes just days after Bruce Springsteen canceled a show in Greensboro North Carolina over that state's similarly bullshit bathroom bill and again, not a fan, but well done:

"To my mind, it's an attempt by people who cannot stand the progress our country has made in recognizing the human rights of our citizens to overturn that progress."

I can also take or leave

Awesome, right? Well yes. But I'm not sure how effective this is going to be. The opposition is dug in, convinced that giving even an inch will result in immediate and divine retribution like Sodom and Gomorrah all over again. Because if there one thing God hates more than attempted angel rape, it's gay wedding cakes. 
"Hey, this isn't about wedding cakes, this is about the right of Mississippians to refuse service
to gay people like the scriptures tell them too. Huh? Oh, I don't know, somewhere in the back.
Uh...Mathew 21...34...Thou shall not baketh wedding cakes for men who leith with men..."

-Mississippi Governor and 
Biblical scholar Phil Bryant
Eww...they're getting sex all over it.
Anyway, it's not just the monsters of dad rock that are sticking up for the LGBT rights. XHamster.com, which I understand to be some kind of internet pornography organization is also fighting the good fight and putting its money where its mouth is and probably other places as well. Seriously, you don't want to touch that money. Yeah, they're banning the entire State of North Carolina. XHamster's spokesperson, presumably speaking through a thick mustache while absently toying with a gold medallion buried deep in his luxuriant chest hair had the following to say:

Pictured: XHamster's Mike Kulich
What? Like you know what he looks like.
"We have spent the last 50 years fighting for equality for everyone and these laws are discriminatory which XHamster.com does not tolerate. Judging by the stats of what you North Carolinains watch, we feel this punishment is a severe one...We respect all sexualities and embrace them."

-XHamster Spokesperson Mike Kulich-
and yeah, apparently this not a joke
they're really banning North Carolina
Internet porn in the 1960's required some
patience and a lot of imagination.
Yes, that's the porn industry for you, always at the forefront of social justice-hang on a tick, did he just say 50 years? Fifty. I find that difficult to believe. Like, I think it's swell that XHamster is coming out against NC's ridiculous House Bill 2 which strips away all kinds of LGBT protections, but is he suggesting that his internet porn site has been fighting for equality since the Johnson administration? Or is he maybe referring to the general struggle for equality undertaken in America in the last fifty years and not say, a dot matrix printer typing out ASCII porn or something?

Anyway, just to rub it in what they'll be missing in the Tar Heel State, XHamster tweeted how many North Carolina category views and searches contained the words 'gay' and 'shemale.' Yeah. Shemale, which, to be clear, is not something people actually identity themselves as. In fact, it's kind of offensive, but it's definitely something North Carolinians are typing one-handed into their XHamster search window, so make of that what you will.
Spoiler alert: They love their porn in North Carolina.

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