New York is still there, I checked.

So in thirty days, gay and lesbian couples in New York State will be able to get married. Really married. Not commitment ceremonired, not joined, married. Awesome. And last time I checked the news, New York hadn't been consumed by God's wrath. So if that was your reason for being against marriage equality, you can shut up now.

Pictured: The thing that didn't happen. So much for that argument.

"Yeah, don't hold your breath."

-Galileo Galilei, c. 1642

But like anything that passes through the legislative process, the bill isn't perfect. You know how sometimes children won't take their medicine unless you grind it up in apple sauce or ice cream? Well, in order to get the necessary (Republican) votes, there had to be some 'protections' for people who are uncomfortable with the gay (again, Republicans). So if a church doesn't want to marry same sex couples for fear that their god or gods may punish them, they don't have to. Fine, whatever. It took these people 300 years to admit that Galileo was on to something, I guess I can understand giving them time to adjust.


But it also applies to things like renting a venue. If the place you want to get married is in any way affiliated with a religious institution, they can refuse on the grounds that they might catch gay. It's like they don't want gaymoney (see below) getting mixed in with their regular money.

The Gay One Hundred Dollar Bill
celebrates James Buchanan, our 15th and, to date, Gayest President.

"Yes, I'd like to add an amendment that would drown
a basket of kittens every time two men get married. "

-Sen. W. Whittingtonsford (R, Whitehaven)*

What's kind of scary is that any successful challenge to the religious exemptions actually invalidates the entire law. Yeah, challenging discrimination could get yours and every other same-sex marriage in the state, annulled. It's known as the 'Shit Sandwich Amendment.' I'm not entirely clear on why we're so concerned with protecting any group's right to discriminate, but I am beginning to think that Republicans won't sign off on anything that doesn't include at least some misery.

Any-who, I don't mean to sound all negative. This, at least so far, appears to be one of those increasingly rare moments where the good guys won (knock on wood). So celebrate, go get gay married! Register everywhere, you've got years of unrequited wedding gift-giving to cash in on. Or, if you don't feel like it, or if you're not gay, don't. No one's going to make you. That's the whole point.

Like seriously, your straight married friends owe you...big time. Go nuts.

*May not actually be a real person.